The Big Tree Tour

In the beginning, I pulled into what looked like a tree farm.  I parked my Toyota close to the main building, and quickly started unloading my sleeping bag and suitcase.  A tall dark-haired man named Courtney greeted me and showed me to the van.  This hunter green van could safely carry up to 11 people.  I introduced myself to the other tree lovers.  We made a quick stop at Starbucks.  Gene asked for a tall bold, and Courtney, our leader and driver, was confused.  “A tall bole?”  

Three of us yelled, “A tall B-O-L-D!”  

      Finally, Courtney the forester, got it.  

With coffee in hand, we rode to Benbrook to see a Memorial Bur oak.  After we parked, we walked to the spot.  Approaching this tree, I felt very small.  I found an acorn, and put it in my pocket.  The Bur oak acorn was about the size of a doll’s head.  I have never been one to pay much attention to trees, but this specimen was impressive.  The image would have been nice engraved on a coin, or tattooed onto some inmates calf muscle.  Instead, I enjoyed it in person, without whipping out my iphone to document it.  After a bathroom break, we piled into the van and set out for Granbury.  Granbury is a cozy town, especially when viewed from a climate controlled van.  I chatted with Sandy, my newfound BFF.  We stopped for chocolate, because according-to-proper-tree-tour-etiquette-you-eat-dessert-first.  Once we were all buzzing off our chocolate high, we disembarked to see the Texas Live Oak.  It was a Kodak moment for sure.  Conversation halted as we examined the tree.  In Paluxy, we yielded to the right-of-way of some escarpment Live Oaks.  Driving through Johnson City, we noted almost every place of business was named after LBJ.  The world’s largest Vitex tree was guarded by a malnourished coonhound dog.  When we approached, the coonhound barked and his tail was tucked completely under his legs.  It was sad to see.  I wanted to give him a treat and tell him that I’ve had bad experiences with people too.  In Comanche, we stopped for lunch.  We dined in a cafe that did not accept credit cards.  It’s weird being in a cash only business.  I kept thinking, are we in America?  What-in-the-ham-sandwich is going on!  Unfortunately, all the other tree lovers on this trip probably thought I had an eating disorder because I didn’t order food.  I told them that my food was in the van.  Once we left, I crawled into the van and pulled out the tortillas and string cheese in my backpack.  I inhaled the food like I was a starving refugee in Somalia.  The Fleming Live Oak tree had an epic story including a boy, some wild Native Americans, and a town trying to survive.  Now that I had eaten a tortilla, my view of the tree was much more optimistic and upbeat.  Our first day concluded in Fredericksburg.  We saw a Smoke Tree and a Deodar Cedar.  At the hotel, I forgot my luggage in the lobby, but luckily Courtney was the guardian who watched over my belongings until I finally came to my senses.  We went to dinner at a traditional German restaurant called Friedhelm’s Bavarian Inn.  Sandy and I split a plate of Sauerbraten Art.   Our waiter had dark hair and the pale face of someone who spends countless hours indoors playing World of Warcraft. Gene gave the waiter a hard time for forgetting Sandy’s lemons.  The waiter responded by bringing the lemons, looking at Gene, “Here Mr. Grumpy Pants.”  

We all laughed.  It was amusing to see this spirited exchange while all of us consumed a massive amount of food.  When we exited the restaurant, we hobbled to the van. It starkly contrasted with our fast walk upon entering the restaurant. We moved slowly and carefully, not wanting to upset our food babies.  

        On Saturday, we left by 9:45 am.  We stopped at Starbucks, my home away from home.  We were driving through the Texas hill country.  In Leakey, we saw a grove of Baldcypress trees that would have made the Orcs in Middle Earth look like ants.  In Rio Frio, we climbed on a Large Live Oak.  I imagined Gandalf would have scratched his head, bewildered by our actions.  In the van, things heated up.  Conversation went from deadly Oak Wilt to silly aerial sketch mapping to LBJ’s shaved ice and then back to Mr. Grumpy Pants.  We didn’t see any igneous rocks, but gosh darn it, we talked about them.  Words like contumacious and bilaterally frequently could be heard coming from our fragmented-one-size-fits-all-conversations.  We met a forester from San Antonio.  He talked about digging down to get the real dbh, which of course made me laugh.  DBH is tree talk for measuring the diameter at breast height.  We went to the Burditt Ranch to see a Baldcypress tree.  In the shade of that gentle giant, I saw several monarch butterflies feeding on flowers.  There was also a hog trap that I decided to climb into.  Looking back, I wouldn’t do that again, but at the time, climbing into the trap seemed logical and breezy.  We stopped for the night in Concan at Criders Cabins.  The current state champion tree was there.  It was a Baldcypress.  The owner of the property stopped by to ask how we liked the cabins.  She mentioned the Axis deer that roam the land. 

“The call of the deer sounds like a grown woman screaming.” She proceeded to demonstrate the sound.

As I drifted to sleep that night, I could hear the deer calling to one another.  Once asleep, I dreamed of deer and trees.  

The next day, we left by 10:00 am.  The van ride home was mostly quiet.  Once Sandy and I saw a hawk fly by.  

“What kind of hawk is that?”

Casually, I shrugged and said, “I think that was LBJ’s hawk.”  

We all laughed.  Gene said, “Hey, you’re awake.”

I learned many things on this big tree tour.  First, foresters are nice people. Next, take cash on a tree tour.  Finally, trees can get really big.

After Dark in the Park

           It was the 13th of October, on the last night of the After Dark In The Park event at The River Legacy Living Science Center.  My marshmallow pulled into the designated parking area early.  The sky was full of clouds and they were about to dump their moisture.  Rain fell steadily on my front windshield as I waited for the shuttle.  I was glad that I had brought my raincoat and umbrella.  After thirty minutes I arrived at the center and checked in.  My voluntary assignment was to be a roaming captain.  The gates opened at 5 pm.  With 45 minutes to kill, I walked directly over to the face painting area.  I sat down next to a teenage artist with long hair the color of wheat. Half of her face was painted like a pumpkin, it was quite spectacular. 

          I whispered, “Please make me a butterfly.”  

        After about twenty minutes, I got up to leave.  Her design framed my eyes, which made them stand out. I drifted to my first location. When I arrived, the supervisor gave me minimal instruction then she left to have her break.  Parents and kids were everywhere.  It ended up being a cool clear night.  Little white lights ran the perimeter of the pathway.  The soft light they emitted increased the visibility of the forest floor.  All around you could hear Katy Perry’s song “Roar” play as children took turns doing karaoke.  I went to games, the pumpkin patch, crafts, the bounce house, and face painting. If you did not make it out this year, I highly recommend attending next year.

Master Naturalist

        Like a sponge, I am soaking up my Naturalist training and loving it.  So far, I have learned about forest ecology, aquatic systems, amphibians, and mammals.  There are twenty four others who are taking the training with me.  It’s quite a diverse group of people.  My class features an Englishman with crooked teeth, a shy nurse who bakes pies, a retired editor, a sassy plant guy, a woman who works at a nursing home and likes to eat Subway, one storytelling soul sista, a Starbucks addict (me), a librarian, a woman who loves possums and works in economic development, and that’s just to name a few.  We all meet at The Fort Worth Nature Center on Tuesday nights.  On our first field trip, we went canoeing on the Trinity River.  I was paired with the plant enthusiast.  As I propelled the canoe forward using my paddles, I thought I heard his mind explode.  Like a broken record, he kept repeating, “You are wild....You are wild.”

“Would you stop saying that!” I practically spit the words.  

I think I blew the minds of several of my classmates that day.  I was in a good mood, so the volume on my personality was turned all the way up.  Anytime we would pass a creature on the river, I would ask if he’s single?  Then, does he mate for life?  Whenever our teacher would say that the organism doesn’t mate for life, I would scoff and express my disdain for his “lifestyle choices.”  Once, my partner in the canoe, tried to tell me that that is the way nature works.  Organisms don’t always mate for life.  Turning my head, I gave him the stink eye and said, 

       “Are you a pollinator!? You go from flower to flower, breaking hearts, never calling when  you say you’ll call, are you one of those guys?”

I saw a seven foot alligator patrolling his territory.  He watched our every move as we waded through the water to find microscopic organisms.  Using my net, I took a couple of rocks hostage.  I also touched an American Tree Frog.  He was attached to some vegetation alongside the river.  My companion in the canoe spotted him, and grabbed the plant.  He brought Froggie into our little boat.  So briefly, we were a family unit before his guilt kicked in.  He felt bad for taking the frog away from his home.  

“You should feel bad, because you are a horrible person.”  

(Sticks and stones might break my bones, but words will hurt forever.)

I ended up being the one to release Froggie back into the wild.  The American Tree frog is a cute critter.  I look forward to my next fieldtrip!!

Yellowstone

My time in Yellowstone “roused my appetite without bedding it back down.”  I arrived in Montana on the night of July 27th.  It was completely dark, but I could still see the outline of the mountains all around.  Checking in, I proceeded to go find my rental car.  Wheeling my luggage through the parking lot, I paused to inspect each vehicle.  I couldn’t find my car.  A gust of wind blew dust into my eyes, as I sat down on my luggage to wait for a miracle.  Within minutes an attendant asked, “Do you need help?”

    Reaching my hand to my forehead, I grabbed the strand of hair that had escaped and tucked it behind my ear.  “Yes, I can’t find my car.”

He glanced at the key chain in my hand, “May I?”

Offering it to him, I said “Certainly.” 

It took five seconds for him to push one button, and somewhere I could hear an alarm going off.  Following the sound, I walked further into this massive parking lot.  Finally, I saw the car at the very end of the parking lot.  When I arrived, I inspected it.  Black as the night, it was a brand new Ford Escape SUV.  After loading my bags, I sat in the driver’s seat.  Reaching my right hand up, I felt for a light switch.  Nothing.  I turned on the Flashlight app on my phone, to get a good look at the steering wheel.  There was no place for a key, only a single button that said Push-To-Start.  I pushed the button.  Nothing.  Stepping out of the SUV, I ran around the parking lot looking for the attendant.  He was gone.  Then, I remembered the phone number.  I called the rental car desk.  Dillon, the young man who had helped me, answered.  

Trying not to sound hopeless, I said “I can’t start the car.”

“Hold down the brake, while pushing the button and have the key chain on you.”

Keeping my voice cheerful, I said “Do you have any advice for me?”

“You can’t start the car, unless you have the key chain.  Don’t lose it.”

After we hung up, I was able to start the car.  Luckily, the drive to the hotel was super easy.  I got into my room, and unpacked.  For this trip, I had to pack my food items in my checked bag.  However, I learned that it is a bad idea to pack pickles.  Upon opening my bag, I discovered two of my pants were soaked in pickle juice.  There would be no opportunity to wash them.  My pickle pants were out.  This was my first time at Yellowstone and I wanted to make a good impression.  I went to sleep as soon as I hit the pillow.

The next day, I checked out at 6am.  Loading up my car, I pulled out my own music.  Once I started the drive, I realized that the sound system did not take CDs or have an auxiliary source for me to hook my ipod to.  Much to my dismay, I drove the entire way in silence--3 hours. I started to notice my difficulty breathing on the drive to the park.  The altitude was 1,000 feet and my lungs weren’t used to that.

I arrived at my class at 10:30am, an hour and a half late to my first day--no biggie.  Sneaking into the room, I sat in the very back.  The teacher kept talking.  When I looked around, I discovered that people of all ages and backgrounds were taking this class.  The youngest person was 14 and the oldest person was 70.

When we took a break for lunch, I unloaded my SUV and put my stuff in my assigned cabin.  I didn’t eat my pickles.  They had sufficiently pissed me off, so I threw them in the trash.  Somehow I managed to gulp down a tortilla and some string cheese, while feebly attempting to breathe.

My first day there, I tried to adapt.  I’m so used to being in the city, where hearing the sound of a cell phone ring or receive a text is familiar.  In the park, there was no cell reception.  At first this silence was odd, but then I started to like it.  I liked the freedom that comes from not being chained-to-your-phone.

It took me a while to warm up to the strangers in my class.  My favorite was a fellow named Chris, from England.  It was amazing that I did not annoy him because I was constantly switching from speaking normally to speaking as though I were Mary Poppins.  Considering my behavior, it was surprising that Chris kept choosing to sit next to me on the bus.  

Rising the next day at 5am, we immediately boarded the bus.  We rode into the heart of Yellowstone--Lamar Valley.  Setting up our equipment took some time, but it was a welcome distraction from the biting cold.  Tall pine trees and sage brush covered the land.  A hundred yards away, on a steep incline, I focused my telescope.  The den site was somewhere nearby.  Looking into the back country was deceptive to the eye, it appeared small, but actually it stretched on for miles.  My hands started to tingle.  Wishing that I had brought gloves, I kept looking for any signs of life.  After an hour shivering with my eye fixed on the scope, the eureka moment came.  Someone cried wolf.  Where?  In between the trees, they appeared.   Two black wolf pups were playing. They moved so fast, it was difficult to keep up. Watching them chase each other, my pulse increased.  My heart felt like it was doing the Texas-two-step in my chest. Even from a distance, this sighting was incredibly satisfying.  Everyone in the crowd reacted, like when you are in church, and suddenly you feel the Holy Spirit in the room.  After thirty minutes the pups ran back to the den.  Suddenly, a deep chorus of voices united.  The Lamar Valley wolf pack howled, and the sound was pure joy.  It bounced of the hills and we all tuned in.  When the howling ended, there was silence.  No one wanted to break the spell.  Eventually I climbed back into the bus with Chris and the others.  We returned to the ranch, all of us blissfully happy from seeing the wolves.

The beauty of Yellowstone National Park was so staggering, so mind-blowing that I left feeling completely revived, restored, refreshed!  I can’t wait to go back.

Into the Wilderness

In five days I will fly to Montana.  From there, I will drive to Wyoming, specifically Lamar Buffalo Ranch which is located in the heart of Yellowstone National Park.  Being the product of a sheltered urban upbringing, makes me equally excited and fearful about the prospect of this adventure.  Even strangers can glance at my face, and instantly tell by my pale skin that I do not get-out-much.  Considering how neurotic I can be, and how I consistently over think things, it is amazing that I am doing this.  Being alone and off-the-grid, while driving into and then staying inside, one of the largest generally intact ecosystems in the temperate world, is so foreign to me that I can’t compute.  My mind simply cannot access or download this idea.  When people ask if I’m excited about my trip I say, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”  Most of my experiences with nature have been imagined, or seen on TV, not real.  Sure I went camping once, but I ended up, like Matt Foley, sleeping in a van down by the river.  Last week on Tuesday, it was about noon with the sun bearing down hard, when I witnessed two Mockingbirds get hit and run over by an SUV.  With all traces of composure lost, I remained crestfallen for the entire day.  Pacing back and forth like an animal would in distress, I wanted to fix it, or improve this sad situation but I could not.  At the back of my mind though, I was aware that this was foreshadowing.  Nature is rough and difficult.  It is possible that I will see death again when I go to Yellowstone.  I have imagined gray wolves for so long, that I cannot predict how I will physically react when I actually see one.  I imagine that my reaction will be similar to how Elvis would respond after he returned to Graceland from a really long absence or how the overprotective clownfish Marlin would react when he finally found his wayward son Nemo.  Put it this way, I think about wolves as often as Pooh bear takes naps-which-is-all-the-time.  Wish me luck!!

A Close Encounter

On a hot afternoon, with

the summer sun blazing

he appeared.

With wings humming, 

he hovered, while

looking into my face.

In a blur of movement,

this colorful microscopic

creature paused to feed.

A hummingbird

is a constant hustler.

Earth Day

       Sunlight streamed through the trees illuminating the gravel pathway that led to the back door of the River Legacy Living Science Center.  Branches filled with leaves reached out in a giant embrace.  Under the canopy of trees, evidence of humans could be observed by the flash of a pale leg or a child’s squeal of delight.  

Booths lined the perimeter of the center.  Children and parents were in a state of constant motion, as they migrated from one station to another.  This relaxed mass of humanity had driven from all over the Metroplex to celebrate Mother Earth. It was Earth Day--the 43rd celebration since the day was created in 1970.  

As the children stopped to investigate the contents of each table, a bobcat appeared in the distance.  He crossed the path, silently, before disappearing under the cover of the dense forest. Small birds darted back and forth from branch to branch as they sang.  It was a good sign that man and nature could coexist peacefully.

The structural design of the center offers spectacular views of the woods.  The forest enters the building in the form of three living red oak trees in the center.  The structure was built to accommodate them, making the heart of the center literally rooted in nature.   

Next to the building several tables saddled with chairs and people were noticeable.  One table inside the center featured a sign that read “Paper Bead Jewelry.”  Children squirmed in their chairs while parents kept a watchful eye.  Wearing a neon green T-shirt with the word “VOLUNTEER” on the back, a woman approached the table.  Introductions were made.  Chesnut colored hair framed the face of this volunteer, as her hands maintained a constant state of motion.  She rolled a single strip of paper and then glued it to a straw.  After rolling it, it produced a perfect bead. 

The second shift of volunteers consisted of one adult and two teenagers.  While the teenagers texted on their phones underneath the table, children watched the process as the volunteer demonstrated step by step how to make the paper necklace.  

“Hello! Would you like to make a necklace?” the older volunteer’s clear voice rang out like a bell.

A blonde child responded, “I want to make 2 things: a necklace and a dinosaur.” After watching the process, the youngster quickly caught on.  

“How long do you want your necklace?” the volunteer asked as she focused intently on the string.

“More. Please. My mom has a giraffe neck.” Once completed the little girl put the necklace on her mom; they both seemed perfectly content.

As the activities drew to a close, a squirrel dressed in overalls sauntered past the booth.  He was a kid magnet to be sure as children came from all directions to give him a hug.  It’s not often that one sees an easy going, well dressed rodent. 

Earth Day at River Legacy was an excellent day for one and all.  We are all truly blessed to have this planet!

Happy Earth Day! And thanks River Legacy for the party.

Ghose, Tia. “Hug a tree! 5 fun facts about Earth Day.” LiveScience.com.  TechMediaNetwork Company.  22 April 2013. Web. 10 May 2013

The Biscuits Will Come

Yesterday, I was approached by a pair of kindred spirits.  One chap featured a full crop of blonde hair, rosy cheeks, and was wearing an orange Nebraska cotton sweatshirt.  Dark hair framed the face of the second fellow. He stood at least a foot taller than myself, and was dressed in black sweats.  

They both ordered a brewed coffee.  I was in the middle of ringing them up, when I uttered the words (using my fake British accent), “Would you like a biscuit?”  

(Currently, biscuit is my favorite word) 

Reaching up to wipe his forehead with the back of his hand, the dark haired chap immediately fired off, “NO.”

With a smile on my face, “Good, because we don’t have any biscuits.”

Channeling The Field of Dreams, the same fellow said quietly, .... “the biscuits will come.”

“Bravo, that’s the spirit, the glass is half full and so too are the biscuits.”

They both stood planted at my register, perhaps, waiting for an explanation.  

I began, “Just like the visionary, Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., I too have a dream...”

The blonde haired man finally joined the conversation, “What’s that?”

“If everyone in the world had a biscuit, there would be no hunger or war...and we would all look up to, or down at, the one that binds us together.”

“Who’s that?”

“The Pillsbury Doughboy, of course.”

Out of the Comfort Zone

Neal Donald Walsch once said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  Well, it seems that I have arrived at that place.  Break ups are never fun.  If you were to hand me an angry, injured spider and tell me to rehabilitate him, I would prefer that task to breaking up.  I am aware that endings are a natural part of the life cycle, but it is still hard.  I should be grateful that things are not worse.  For instance, it would be worse if “Tom Brady” had dumped me after a decade of being together. Do you remember a long time ago when Hugh Grant broke up with Elizabeth Hurley after 13 years together?  I was a teenager then, and I recall it blowing my mind, the idea, 13 years of dating.  On the other hand, you have Zsa Zsa Gabor, when I discovered she was with her 9th husband...(add 4 more and you’ve got a ‘baker’s dozen’ worth of husbands).  In Zsa Zsa’s case, till-death-do-us-part doesn’t really apply.  My current state of mind is reflected in the lyrics of the Madonna song “Jump.”  Here is an excerpt. 
‘We learned our lesson from the start, my sisters and me

The only thing you can depend on is your family

Life's gonna drop you down like the limbs of a tree

It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

Are you ready to jump? Get ready to jump

Don't ever look back, oh baby

Yes, I'm ready to jump

Just take my hands, get ready to, are you ready?’

Angel Fire

Twas during the 9 o’clock hour on the morning of Wednesday, January 30th when the sun perched high in the sky that our journey did commence.  The sun was smiling.  We were headed to Angel Fire, New Mexico.  When I think of the name Angel Fire I imagine it's the latest development or bra from Victoria's Secret, but actually it is a place.  En route, I enjoyed the scenery, the landscape, but not the 8 hours of sitting.  My companion drove the entire time.  I was all hopped up on coffee.  The occasional nuggets of conversation went like this, “What’s your favorite animal?”  “I don’t really like animals.”  “Ok, well are you aware that you are dating animal girl?”  It seems that opposites do attract.  I love animals.  He loves Facebook.  Life has brought us together.  We went up through the Texas Panhandle.  My eyes stayed ever watchful for any sign of life.  Once I saw a shy yet brazen coyote run across the highway.  Unfortunately, small town police sat up and took note of our sporty vehicular transport.  We were pulled over twice, but somehow managed to get a simple warning not a ticket.  Snow framed the roads once we arrived in Amarillo.  One of the highlights of traveling through Amarillo was the Jesus Christ is Lord Travel Center.  It’s is a funny thought to imagine Jesus working at a gas station.  Our stomachs started to pitch a fit about not having food, so we yielded to their right of way.  Cracker Barrel appeared.  We ordered our food to go.  Seeing their soft peppermint candy for sale in the gift shop brought back memories from childhood.  Once we reached New Mexico, I saw four deer running in unison in a field.  Darkness covered the landscape when we finally reached Angel Fire.  The unmistakable form of 3 adult elks appeared for a moment near the road as we drove by.  When we arrived in town, we stopped at a gas station to ask where the resort was located.  The road to the resort was covered in snow.  We advanced up the hill briefly pausing to check a sign.  Once we slowed down, we could not get going again.  We got into reverse and went down the hill.  This time we increased speed without slowing down and that did the trick.  After turning into the resort’s parking lot, we checked in at the front desk.  It was very cold.  Sleep was immediate and deep that first night.  In the morning, we dressed for the ski slopes.  We met a friend and local named  Billy at the front desk.  I met Billy and his mom Carolyn for the first time.  They were both warm and charismatic.  Billy took us to eat at the Campfire Cafe.  It was a very popular breakfast restaurant run by a woman from Brooklyn.  She also owned a sleigh ride business, so she took every opportunity to remind us that we should ride in a sleigh pulled by one of her horses.  I ate blueberry pancakes.  After we left, Billy drove us to Red River.  We stopped to gaze upon the lovely image of the Eagles Nest Lake which happened to be completely frozen.  He pointed out the highest point, Wheeler Park. I enjoyed hearing the stories from his time as an extra for the movie Lone Ranger. We rented our skis at a local shop near the resort.  I learned it is a work out walking in skis without snow.  By the time I made it to the room my breathing had become labored.  Once we made it to the slopes it was 2pm.  We went to the lift.  I realized that my skis did not match up with my ski shoes.  I had to walk to the closest ski shop to get them to fix it.  After 10 minutes, we were hiking back to the lift.  We got on.  It took us up the mountain.  We were at an altitude of 8,000 feet.  At the top we dismounted.  We were both ill equipped to deal with the mountain.  Sure we had the proper gear on, but we were lacking that little thing called skill.  We were like two blind squirrels sitting in the middle of the road during rush hour.  My pulse raced when I saw him barely escape falling down the big hill.  He missed it by an inch.  We did not know how to brake or turn.  I chickened out and took off my skis.  I carried them on my shoulders the whole way down.  Once we made it down, we became aware of the location of the lift for the kiddie slopes. We tried our luck on the kiddie slopes.  It was an improvement, but I still did not know how to brake.  I got ambushed by a fence made of rope in my effort to stop.  As I struggled to break free, I got more entangled.  He kept saying, “If six year old’s can do it, we can do it, don’t give up.”  Being tied up is no fun.  I was shaking from sheer exhaustion.  When we made it back to the hotel, I collapsed.  After ordering food, we watched WaterWorld.  Waterworld is a classic B movie starring Kevin Costner.  He had never seen it.  Later, we met Billy and his friend Mark at the bar inside the resort to shoot some pool.  As the clock approached the ten o’clock hour we felt the call of the wild, and thus migrated to the hot tub where we did unwind.  Unfortunately our time in the hot tub was abbreviated since a hotel employee kicked us out.  Sleep was good.  Our hotel room was like a woman going through menopause: one moment unbearably hot, another moment frigidly cold.  On Friday, we went to breakfast at the local cafe again.  Then we adjourned to the ski rental shop where we reserved a time for a local man to coach us on the slopes.  It was the best fifty bucks I spent on the trip.  Tanner was born and raised in this tiny New Mexico town.  He taught us how to hold our “French fries” and how to manage our “pizza pie.”  Once we had mastered these basic moves, skiing became almost fun.  I would have gladly stayed on the kiddie slopes but we pressed on to the hill that was more challenging.  As we approached on the lift, I could feel a baby headache begin to form in my head.  We got off and started downhill.  I had had my “French fries” in the brake formation, but I was picking up speed and going faster than I liked.  Finally, my face collided with the mountain.  My legs landed in the snow.  The snow softened the impact, but I could detect a sting and an ache in my head that was not there before. My helmet landed in the snow a couple of yards away.  I was alone and shaking like a leaf.  I tried to get up.  The fall really scared me.  I was scared enough to know that I was done.  I resumed the journey downhill going as slowly as humanly possible.  Once I made it down, I walked to the hotel.  I swallowed two Advil, drank some water and tried to breathe.  My fearless warrior, my action man boyfriend continued to conquer the mountain one-French-fry-at-a-time while I tried to re-claim my serenity.  Once he had waged war long enough, he arrived back on the scene smelling of fresh mountain air.  Later that night, we dined at Zebs.  I ordered the blue corn enchiladas.  The blue was symbolic of the sky.  The corn symbolized my natural born corniness.  More importantly, enchiladas is a Spanish word that means heaven.  I ate my sky corny heaven and it was good.  The locals, Billy and Carolyn, entertained us while they smoked like chimneys.  A pool tournament had been organized.  We watched the competition.  Music blared from the jukebox.  Many of the tunes were country which means they were unremarkable.  I took the bull by the horns and selected a couple of songs.  An hour passed, when suddenly, out of the darkness and smoke, I could hear the beginning of my song.  My heart jumped.  I leapt wildly like-a-chihuahua-that-never-learned-how-to-dance-but-gosh-darn-it-I’m-gonna-try.  I went crazy to Akon’s “I Wanna Love You.”  Our interest in the outcome of the pool tournament waned, so we made the executive decision to hit the road jack.  We migrated back to the resort, where sleep did find us.  I woke up with a stiffness and soreness in my neck.  My mouth was dry as if I had swallowed a cactus.  I packed up my stuff.  We loaded up the car.  It was time to take my stiff neck and cactus breath home.  We drove through the mountains to Taos.  It was absolutely beautiful.  My ears popped a couple of times.  When we made it to Taos, we went to the Kit Karson museum.  I listened intently to the stories about Kit’s life.  We had lunch in town, then started the drive home. Superman, aka Sir Drive’s-a-Lot drove and drove and drove.  We thought about stopping for a prayer at the Jesus Christ is Lord Travel Center.  However, we were ready to get home so we didn’t stop.  Our adventure ended at 11pm on February 2nd.  The end.  

Goodnight, Goodbye, God bless.

A New Year

According to Douglas Adams, “Life is like a grapefruit.  It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”  One of my Christmas gifts included a book by Douglas Adams, and I look forward to sitting down with my copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.  My Christmas was wonderful.  The highlights included singing Feliz Navidad in the car with a delightful nine year old, my rendition of Willow’s Whip My Hair song via karaoke, doing a white elephant gift exchange and having someone try to steal my dog, the Frankenstorm that happened the night before Christmas, and all the moments I was able to spend with my family and my love.  In 2012, I learned a lot.  For instance, I learned that when you buy chicken at the grocery store that says ‘manager’s special’ eat it that day.  It is a new year.  My resolutions are to take care of myself and to keep pushing myself.  Cheers.