Monday, August 29, 2011

Wild Ocean

This weekend I watched a positive, upbeat IMAX film called Wild Ocean.  It's a documentary that follows the sardines as they migrate along the KwaZulu-Natal Coast.  Sardines and predators fight to survive.  The live action sequences were accompanied by rhythmic beats from native drums.  I carried a towel in my purse just in case this movie turned out to be a tear jerker. You never know.  They might have shot all the dolphins in the back and then laughed about it.  I bet the director is a man and it is unwise to invest a lot of hope in men. (my humble opinion) So, I expected the worst, but was delighted when it ended up being uplifting and full of hope.  I have so much respect and admiration for dolphins.  Animals are so much more in touch with their instincts than us humans.  No wonder when these unfortunate natural circumstances occur like drought, hurricanes, earthquakes.. animals see it coming before we do.  They live 100% in the now.  We live 60% in our head, 20% texting and 20% on Facebook.  The urgent current of instinct flows and the dolphins follow it.  What a harsh and yet exciting existence.  If I spoke the language of the dolphin I might even ask one... “Do you believe in inter-species dating?  I know I’m not tan.  I’m fair skinned.  I realize that I can’t swim... I’m afraid I’ll drown, but I would still like to get to know you Mr. Dolphin.  What was your name again?”  See, I just proved my point.  I’m in my head, not focused on the here and now.  To the other humans that read this post, I would say to you goodluck, and goodbye. 


http://www.bigmoviezone.com/filmsearch/movies/index.html?uniq=489

Friday, August 12, 2011

Hello


I love caramel flavored iced Via.  I drink it stirred, on the rocks, with a splash of breve.  I’m listening to Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation.  I glisten regularly due to this massive heat wave.  I love wedding cake snow cones.  I talked to Jared tonight.  Unfortunately, he had a date with a soft ferret.  I have been reading The Power by Rhonda Byrne.  Currently, my favorite quote is from Albert Einstein, “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.”  There is not much I can say about my life, other than, I am trying to exert myself, to push forward.  Some nights I wish I were in love, like tonight.  Little baby gets baptized on Sunday.  I am excited.  I love being an aunt.  I love my short highlighted hair.  It makes me feel lighter.  When I talked to my boss this week, I started to cry.  I only did it because this weight has been pressing against my chest, my heart.  I felt better after.  Luckily life goes on.  My mom visited Lynda Carter this week.  Do you remember Lynda Carter as wonder woman?  I made a card for my mom to give Lynda.  She loved it.  Nice...

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Red White and Blue

For the 4th of July, I acted very American.  I consumed a homemade hamburger.  I can’t remember how long it has been since I’ve done that.  Furthermore, I visited friends.  We sat on a sofa and watched Princess Bride.  Then, I discussed the pros and cons of Pokemon with a charismatic 10 year old.  My friends and I watched fireworks on lawn chairs while munching on ham and mayonnaise sandwiches.  I had so much fun that I found myself wanting to celebrate independence again today.  Do you like tea? I do.  I bet if Earl Gray were a man he’d be hot.  Today, a guy came in to work wearing a Canada T shirt.  I told him that I would love to visit Prince Edward Island and not to see a prince either.  I would visit to see the place Anne Shirley grew up.  Anne Shirley is my ultimate favorite fictional character.  She is the bombdiggity.

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Reunion

In less than 24 hours there was to be a collision of forces.  A force is any influence that causes a free body to undergo a change in direction.  So it was, that on Friday several free bodies began to move in the direction of Hallsville, Texas.  We are bound to make this annual trek just like electrons of an atom are bound to the nucleaus.  I was noticeably charged up at work.  I had my suitcase packed and ready to go in my car.  Once dad arrived we were off.  First stop, Richardson to pick up my brother-in-law.  We did not get out of Dallas until 6pm.  On the road, I ignored the bone dry pastures, instead paid attention to my book.  I’ve been reading Barbara Kingsolver’s The Lacuna.  The sun was setting, thereby directing soft light on everything.  As we approached East Texas, I was excited to see the trees change from short, flower-bearing angiosperms to tall, cone-bearing conifers.  We arrived in Longview around 8:30pm and quickly evacuated the vehicle.  My legs had been sleeping and they tingled as they regained consciousness.  Inside the house, I saw the smiling faces of my sister, mother, grandmother and grandad.  Commenting on my braids, my sister exclaimed, “Hello Heidi!”  We passed around hugs and kisses before sitting down to eat a light supper.  My grandparents grow increasingly frail each time I see them.  We went to bed soon.  The journey had zapped us of energy and we needed to recharge.  I slept on the sofa in the front room surrounded by mirrors, polished wood, curtains, glass and crystal.  I always feel like a princess visiting this house on Willow Oak.  I dreamed as I slept.  My dream was not pleasant.  I awoke to voices whispering in the den.  Sound travels easily through the thin wall that separates the two rooms.  It was my grandparents.  They are always the first ones up.  I shut my eyes.  I did not get up until I could hear many voices present in the other room.  I noticed baby immediately.  He looked bright eyed, bushy tailed, full of smiles and cooing sounds.  I held him.  His skin is so soft.  Coffee drinking began and spread rapidly like a wild fire.  Fortunately, it was Starbucks Christmas blend because I don’t drink community coffee.  Grandad picked up his great grandson and took him outside to watch the squirrels.  We dined on a simple breakfast of cereal and muffins.  At 10am, we left to go to the reunion.  We navigated through the streets of Longview until we arrived at Super 1 Foods.  Apparently, it is impolite to attend a reunion without bringing fried chicken.  Once we had acquired this cooked bird, we drove to Hallsville in an astonishing 15 minutes.  Some towns are memorable, this one is not.  The water tower is about the size of a large TV.  In a white community center,  two families collided: the Singletons and the Langfords.   Seventy free bodies drifted inside... some alone, some attached and signed in.  Name tags encouraged conversation.  It is natural behavior for mammals to first establish and mark territory.  Consequently, we found a spot at the end of one of the tables to call our own.  I am such an odd bird, at times outgoing and at times withdrawn.  I was mostly quiet, but there was a microphone and a stage.  I looked longingly at the microphone.  I knew in 15 steps or less I could be up onstage, talking, beaming my forceful personality down upon these unsuspecting life forms.  My inner critic reminded me that that action would be inappropriate.  I think too much.  I sat there observing, reading nonverbal communication.  I felt like I was in junior high again (minus the pimples) looking around for where I belong.  It is hard to be different.  AJ was a sensation.  He doesn’t talk, but his facial expressions entertain and delight.  We blessed the food, then ate.  I waited until the line died down.  The food was good.  I was too full for dessert.  The teenagers sat together.  They were busy typing text messages on their phones.  My smart phone had been playing dead ever since we arrived in East Texas.  I have TMobile and it said no service.  No cellphone service is extremely annoying.  Seeing these teenyboppers texting left me feeling bewildered and betrayed.  Instead of seething, I got up and walked outside.  There was a park across the street.  My sister was already there.  I started swinging.  The heat from the sun was powerful, like a bully that keeps applying pressure.  The back and forth movement of the swing combined with the heat, left me feeling dizzy and nauseous. I rested on a bench before retreating inside.  We stayed one more hour.  Finally, our caravan departed: two vehicles carrying our party of 8.  Once we arrived back in Longview, we rested.  Happy hour is mandatory in my family.  I tried mead for the first time.  It’s a fermented beverage made of water, honey, malt and yeast.  I can recall hearing mention of it in stories.  I think Friar Tuck drank mead with Robin Hood’s Merry Men.  I was not impressed with the taste, but I’m glad I tried it.  It was an exciting conclusion to an eventful day.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Monetarily Speaking

Why is it that everywhere you go, signs, businesses and people ask for money?  I can be checking out at the grocery store, sitting in church, driving or even sleeping.  Most people/places/things want my money.  It can be in the middle of the night, my phone lights up and jingles letting me know I have a message.  I open my eyes, scroll down to see I have a new email from Victoria’s Secret trying to get me to spend money on a new bra or whatever.  I get more contact from vendors trying to make a sale than I get from my own friends.  It pisses me off.  I know I am not the only person affected by this, but I resent the intrusion.  One must be relentlessly hardcore and focused to build up a savings account.  I would consider supporting a cause if they supported me.  Would you like to donate money to the fund for orphans?  (anytime someone asks me for money, I throw the question back in their face)... Are these orphan children in a place where they can support me?  At that point, the conversation usually dies and I gather my groceries and leave the premises.  These are difficult times.  You must try to save, but then realize that life is short, so have some fun too!  I had a person say to me the other day, hey did you get off facebook?  Yes.  You should have let everyone know.  I wanted to say my real friends could have called and asked, but I kept my thought to myself.  I got off facebook because I tire of pretending that my ‘friends’ on facebook are real.  A real friend calls you to talk, knows when you are upset and likes to hang out in person whenever the schedule allows it.  I was at the ballpark the other day and several girls present were looking down at their phones, their hands busy pushing buttons in the act of texting.  I had turned my phone off.  I allowed myself no distractions from the present moment.  I guess it makes me sad to think of all the moments in the day that people lose, moments where they could connect in a real way with people around them, but instead they ignore the real world and fix their gaze upon their phones.  I cannot say I am against texting.  I do text.  I try to do it at appropriate times though.  So the moral of this story is save your money, call your friends, and don’t be so caught up in your phone that you miss opportunities!

Birthday for Pooh

It was a bright and beautiful day from the get go.  The cheerful sound of birds chirping in the trees.  Pooh ran faster than a jackrabbit while we were exploring a local park. Afterwards, I tasted the moose with my gal pal.  This private selection ice cream blend was packed with flavor.  Explosions of dark chocolate competed to dominate our taste buds.  Suddenly, out of the darkness, a surprise attack by smooth caramel enhanced by crunchiness.  We took turns alternating between grabbing spoonfuls of yummy and giggling like school girls.  Smiling, we stood there sucking the cream off our utensils until all of it was gone.  Call it a labor of love... Pooh turned 7 years old.  She has reached midlife with no crisis.  We are going to throw a party in her honor on Friday.  I can’t help remembering her as a puppy, how adorable she was.  I would not trade my memories of her puppyhood for a million dollars.  Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and she was right in my face, looking at me with her large round eyes.  I smiled and she kissed my nose.  Pooh’s life is definitely impacted by the pull of bed gravity.  She sleeps a lot.    She does not engage in premarital texting behavior like a lot of teenagers do.  I am proud of that fact.  I tried to raise her to be the best chihuahua ever.  She is good looking, smart, funny, makes great eye contact, and loves to have her belly scratched.  Cheers to Miss Pooh, Pooh bear....

Monday, May 9, 2011

Full of Flavour

May 5th-7th
I attended the Flavour Conference 2011 in Grapevine, Texas.  I drove to Fellowship church.  The parking lot was full of cars.  A smiling, waving tribe of men guided my car to an available spot.  I got out.  The Texas heat was in full force.  I could feel the beginnings of sweat beads on the back of my neck and arm.  A man that looked like Lance Armstrong pulled up on a golf cart and asked if I wanted a ride.  Just say yes. “YES!” I moved towards the party cart.  It had a hot pink feather boa wrapped up in the top along with ribbons and bows.  Once inside, we glided through the rows of cars as smooth as peanut butter on bread.  The face of the church was cavernous and decorations were everywhere.  Greeters stood out front welcoming guests.  I usually don’t trust people that are soooo cheerful.  It seems to me that their merriment must be forced.  (Like when you are in sales and you want that sale so bad, you act like an angel but really that is not who you are)  I walked in and waited in line to get into the sanctuary.  The women in line looked like they were having fun.  Everyone had someone with them, a sister, mom, aunt, best friend etc.  The inside or “creamy filling” of the church truly was exquisite.  I couldn’t help admiring the sparkle and shine.  I was reminded of Mary Kay because there was such an abundance of pink, jewelry, and free gifts.  Mary Kay makes you feel like a princess but constantly asks for the sale.  This conference was full of things to buy and after each speaker, time would be devoted to reviewing items for sale. I wished I had taken more pains getting ready.  I felt plain and tall compared to all these stunning women.  I waited in line quietly, occasionally glancing down nervously at my phone.  A text appeared, my friend was at the entrance.  I walked out to see her.  We hugged and had our picture taken together.  She was dressed like me, blue jeans and a white “Flavour” Tshirt.  As we put on our Flavour bracelets and found our place in line, the doors opened.  We walked inside.  Let me state again for the record that pink and shiny lights were everywhere.  The large stage stood out prominently along with the 3 gargantuan screens.  Throughout this conference one was confronted with the omnipresence of media; whether watching the screens, getting twitterpated, befriending on facebook or being textually active.  On Thursday night the speaker was a blonde from the UK named Charlotte.  She strode onto the stage wearing black leggings, knee high 3 inch heel flesh colored boots and a simple dress cinched in around her tiny waist.  Her hair was in a pony tail.  When she smiled, I could hear the angels sing.  The main thing I recall her saying, “God is saying to you come back.  Start feet first.  What is your internal posture? You can’t just go.  You must be on your mark, then get set, then go.” The evening concluded with an after party. Women meandered whilst munching on free candy filled in their free cups.  They browsed the pieces of art that hung from the walls on the second floor of the church.  It was an auction.  You placed a bid and the proceeds went to stop human trafficking.  The art was impressive.  My friend’s favorite was a painting of the face of a child from Haiti.  A multitude of women exited the building that night full of candy, dreams and hearts warmed by the thought “God is at the table.”  Even through all my cynicism, I could feel God’s light.  I slept well that night.  Day 2, it was Friday and the session started at 9:30am.  My friend had to work so I went with the goal to absorb as much as I could to then regurgitate it back to her.  I found a seat in the middle of the auditorium sitting next to a cute bubbly blond named Katie.  She was very friendly.  Worship started with singing then a warmup activity.  A long dark haired man with a figure as plump as a bowl full of jelly jiggled onto the stage wearing a hideous frumpy jump suit.  With his ego fully intact, he declared his intentions to whip us into shape.  First we partnered up and took turns massaging the shoulders of the woman standing next to us.  Then, we warmed up the smile muscles by massaging the face.  Finally, we did the “bend and snap” (remember that move from Legally Blonde).  This fleshy man modeled the move with his back to us.  The large screens zoomed in on his butt.  It looked like someone had taken a permanent marker and written on the back of his jumpsuit, “Juicy.”  Everyone laughed.  It was funny.  The speaker during this session was a lady named Julie.  She was originally from Mississippi, but currently lives in Austin.  What’s that saying, you can take the girl out of the cheer squad but not the cheerleader out of the girl?  Julie literally jumped onstage.  Whilst speaking, her hands flailed about with the intensity of a person trying to flag down a taxi. Her speech reminded one of the country.  I am talking country where you’ve got woods and completely dark nights... country where you slap them pesky skeeters that keep bitin’ ya.  Dang it!  Julie had shoulder length dirt brown hair.  She told us about her “near Oprah” experience.  When Julie turned 40, she decided that it was high time to act like a grown up.  To mark this milestone, she decided to have a chemical peel.  She took the bull by the horns and booked an appointment.  When in the chair, she could feel the skin on her face start to burn.  The pain of this sensation was so sharp and pointed that her thoughts ran like this, “My face is burning off!  How can this woman do this to me!  It hurts.  I am gonna have no face left.  Sweet Jesus, please don’t let my face burn off!  ...but if it is part of your vision for me to have my face burned off then let your will be done!  Ouch!  (the attendant walked out of the room) Where is she going?  I bet she’s going to get the attorney because she know’s I’m gonna sue her since she burned my face off.  What am I gonna do?  How am I going to minister with no face?  She’s gonna come back in here with her attorney and I am gonna tell her, I forgive you.  Then, my story is gonna be on the news......Burned, Christian woman forgives the person that stole her face....and Oprah is gonna hear my story and ask me to come on her show.  Then I will tell her what happened, the excruciating pain.  I will tell Oprah how the woman recognized her mistake and I forgave her.  Suddenly Julie’s daydream is shattered when the attendant walks back into the room.  The woman says, “You’re all done.”  Julie felt disenchanted, what no Oprah?  The highlights of Julie’s talk (in my opinion)...God what’s my story? How are you gonna use me?  Don’t look around and compare yourself, instead go straight to the author/artist...When do we stop dreaming?  Life knocks it out of us.  God has a wide, expansive life for me.  Everyday recite this cheer... I’m his child, made in his image, I’ll do things his way because together we are awesome!! Later on, like in the show “The View,” the speakers assembled onstage for Q & A.  How does one juggle being a mom, a wife and being a minister?  Charlotte answered, “by keeping the joy. When I become joyless I start flapping my wings, struggling...”  How does one recapture joy? Charlotte said, “We put joy in things or in a result.  Joy is in him.  Take a step back and reflect on what is God’s vision for my life. Life is full of valleys.  Feelings lie.  Joy is not a feeling. It is a discipline of life.”  How does one deal with social injustices?  “Pray God break my heart for the things that break yours.” Jesus wasn’t religious, he was relational.  Put a name on suffering, then it’s personal.  Changing the world starts with saving one life.  We took a break for lunch and afterward were allowed some free time.  Later that evening Session 4 began but I was not there.  My friend had to take notes for me this time.  I went to watch the Rangers get beat accompanying the-loudest-and-most-obnoxious-Yankee-that-ever-was at the Ballpark in Arlington.  Anyhoo, back to my story, Saturday was the final day of the conference.  I waltzed in holding my grande Americano from Starbucks.  The pastor’s wife Lisa spoke to the crowd.  She looked like the queen bee, fashionably dressed and draped with sparkling jewels. Lisa preached. Her story was about her own struggle as a woman of faith.  She touched upon Wilbur and Orville Wright. The brothers who invented the first airplane.  Lisa was not as charismatic as the other speakers but she sure did sparkle.  Some women look more attractive from afar.  Lisa attracts from afar and became increasingly dazzling up close.  I teared up twice during this lovefest/conference.  I couldn’t help it.  Crying can be a release.  It is healthy in moderation. The important thing is not to live your life from that sad place.  I left the conference feeling refreshed, like renewing my relationship with God.  I stepped into the sun, walked to my car impressed by this sense of hope and gratitude.  The women who placed bids ended up raising a total of $2500 dollars that goes to stop human trafficking.  What a blessing.  Amen!


It’s a good day, at Flavour conference
Full of bidding and candy too
Smiles, sales and sisters everywhere
Lovin God and Jesus too, yeah yeah
And voices proclaim inspirational messages
There’s a British Charlotte, Texans too
Lisa Young was hostess with the mostess
We sang, prayed and worshiped God
And I’m free, free flyin, flyin
And I’m free, free flyin, flyin
Life has many shadows and valleys
We look around and compare
Instead of going straight to the artist
Feet first, on your mark, get set, go
And I’m free, free flyin, flyin
And I’m free, free flyin, flyin
I am a child of God, made in his image...
I will do things his way, because
Together we are awesome
Break my heart for the things that break yours
Come with me, free flyin, flyin
Now I’m free, free flyin, flyin
Can’t you see, free flyin, flyin
I will be, free flyin, flyin